


Less of a Mess

by Racethewind_10



Category: Jessica Jones (TV)
Genre: Adult Content, Adult Language, Adult Themes, Claire is too good for Jessica, F/F, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Introspection, Jessica knows this, Jessica muses about Claire, Shameless Smut, Slurs, passing reference to PTSD
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-29
Updated: 2015-11-29
Packaged: 2018-05-03 22:44:57
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,232
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5309870
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Racethewind_10/pseuds/Racethewind_10
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jessica is chaos. She’s destruction incarnate, wrecking phones and clocks and cars and walls and lives, and she takes Claire apart piece by piece. Rips her scrub top (honestly that first time really was an accident) because she can’t wait to get her hands and her mouth on Claire’s breasts, feel Claire’s nipples harden against her tongue.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Less of a Mess

**Author's Note:**

> While the fic itself is pretty fluffy (given the tone of the show) it does contain references to the Netflix series Jessica Jones canon, which means swearing, alcohol abuse, references to PTSD and emotional trauma, self loathing, slurs etc. Not graphic, but still present. 
> 
> Also note that since this fic is from Jessica's POV, the narrator is unreliable. How Jessica feels about herself is not necessarily how I - the writer - feel about Jessica.

Jessica Jones is broken. She's exactly what Luke accused her of being - a short fused, hard-drinking mess of a woman. 

Claire Temple is not broken.  A little rough around the edges, sure. You don't survive being a nurse in a city like New York without a little damage but Claire is a Good Person.

A Good Person Jessica Jones should not be fucking. 

Unfortunately, Jessica's absolute shit at refraining from things she shouldn't do. Turns out that includes people she shouldn't do. 

Fucking Claire is like medicine. Medication? The opposite of pain? Wordplay was never Jessica’s strong suit okay? She’s not a fucking thesaurus. Actually, come to think of it Jessica Jones doesn’t have many talents that could be considered a strong suit except you know,  _literally_  being strong. Physically, obviously. Emotionally she’s a fucking wreck but what the hell, so is most of New York. 

In a city that got attacked by aliens, personal trauma is the new black. 

Jessica might destroy almost everything around her but at least she’s aware enough to realize she’s not the only one.  And hey, she’s actually doing pretty good these days. Malcolm is still clean. Luke is alone in his head for good because that worthless stain on humanity Kilgrave is dead. And Trish is safe. Trish, who's so god damn stubborn that no matter how much shit Jessica puts her through, she just gets right the fuck back up and comes around for more. Maybe having an abusive bitch for a mother is good training for having a freak of a foster sister in your life. Or maybe Trish Walker is just the strongest person Jessica Jones has ever met. 

Probably the latter. 

So yeah. All things considered, Jessica’s life sucks an acceptable amount. She even manages to go whole days without getting drunk. 

Claire almost seemed impressed the last time she’d shown up at Jessica’s apartment with a bottle of Jim and Jessica tossed it aside in favor of carrying Claire to the bedroom instead. 

Jessica has no idea why Claire keeps answering her calls (the non-medical ones anyway, Claire’s too much of a nurse to turn away someone bleeding. Yes,  Jessica has used that to her advantage more than once. Yes she’s ashamed. No that hasn’t stopped her. Fucking in a hospital on-call room is surprisingly fun). Jessica is chaos. She’s destruction incarnate, wrecking phones and clocks and cars and walls and lives, and she takes Claire apart piece by piece. Rips her scrub top (honestly that first time really was an accident) because she can’t wait to get her hands and her mouth on Claire’s breasts, feel Claire’s nipples harden against her tongue. 

Jessica used to think that getting fucked was the only way she could distract herself. Its what made sex so good with Luke. He never had to hold back and she could take and take and take until everything inside her just  _gave._ With Claire, though, with Claire there are moments - usually when she's got her head between Claire’s legs, fingers pale against that pretty bronze skin where she grips Claire’s thighs, Claire’s fingers tugging at her hair - she thinks that maybe, once in a while, destruction isn’t bad. 

Maybe taking someone apart can be a good thing if you do it right. 

Certainly there’s an indescribable beauty in the way Claire comes, the line of her back as arches, straining against Jessica’s mouth. The wet heat of her cunt as her body tightens around Jessica’s fingers.  The way her breathing gets all ragged and she’ll swear when she gets close to the edge. 

Jessica sure as shit isn’t a poet and she’s not capable of things like romance or love, but looking down at Claire spread out on her sheets, sheen of sweat at her temples and strands of sable hair sticking to her cheeks, dark brown nipples pebbled and tempting as she pants for breath - there’s something about knowing Jessica did that,  _gave_ that, that quiets the place deep inside her she used to think she could only shut up with punishment. With work and pain and booze. 

Giving pretty girls orgasms is hardly the penance Jessica should be serving but its not like she’ll ever balance the scales anyway and she just can’t  _stop._ Not when Claire’s mouth is so soft and so demanding all at once. Not when she actually smiles like she’s happy to see Jessica but won’t back and throws any shit that comes her way right back.

And her touch  

Claire Temple fucks like she lives - putting people back together. Jessica doesn’t think she’ll ever understand how those elegant hands can be so strong and so gentle all at once. How Claire’s touch can soothe and arouse and drive Jessica up the fucking wall and  _tease_ in a way Jess never would have believed possible.  Claire knows just how to hold her down, just how to thrust and just how to pick up all the broken pieces of Jessica and put them carefully, carefully back together.  Maybe they’ll just fall apart again as soon as the sweat dries but for a few moments, beneath Claire, Jessica remembers what it feels like to be  _almost_  whole.

She’s not tender or reverent or any of that shit most people would probably say. There’s a precision to Claire’s touch, an educated intent. A purpose that feels more like a surgeon examining a patient than a lover but somehow that's exactly what Jessica needs. Jessica who knows damn well she’s not good enough for this woman whose got three fingers inside her. Jessica who can only say ‘I love you’ when its a signal, a call to arms instead of an admission of feelings, of weakness.

Jessica Jones who may not quite be a piece of shit but is definitely, definitely a mess. 

For a few glorious hours though, with the taste of Claire in her mouth and the feel of Claire's skin under her hands, she’s slightly less of a mess. 

Before Kilgrave’s death that thought would have been impossible, but now Claire’s slim weight is on top of her, their bodies pressed together. Jessica can feel the way Claire’s heart slows and her breathing steadies. Their skin is sticky and warm where its pressed together and she aches all down the insides of her thighs and up the backs of her calves. There’s no phone ringing. No bottle to drink. Just a woman she doesn’t deserve and the smell of really good sex in the air and for the first time since patching up knife wounds turned into fucking against a wall, Jessica lets herself bring her hands to the small of Claire’s back, fingertips trailing up and down the curve of her spine and across strong shoulders. Claire sighs into her neck, breath warm and soft, relaxing further. Jessica likes the weight of Claire’s body. It doesn’t feel like a trap.

It feels like trust. Like what normal might be if she ever finds it again. 

Jessica doesn’t deserve it, but Claire doesn’t deserve to get shoved away just because she’s too good for Jessica. So Jessica just stays still, listening to the soft sound of Claire breathing. 

Maybe this isn’t medicine, or medication and it sure as shit isn’t therapy, but it’s starting to feel

It's starting to feel a little bit like healing. 

Or some bullshit like that. 

 

 

Fin. 

 


End file.
